Mel
I’m Mel and I’m gay. I used to think it was wrong. That liking girls wasn’t okay and that this part of me was always something I needed to hide.
More than anything I just wanted to fit in. Because I thought that if anyone knew I wasn’t normal I wouldn’t be loved anymore. I mean, how do I explain my attractions to females and still be considered normal?
Pronouns: she/her
Photo of Mel
It finally became too much, my anxiety was constantly escalating so I told my parents everything. From wanting to date girls to not knowing if I was even attracted to men anymore. They were extremely patient and accepting as I spilled out my heart to them. They told me that this doesn't change anything and that their love for me wasn’t going to change. I felt some relief but I still felt on edge. I kept reprimanding myself every time I’d start to take interest in someone because I still firmly believed it was “based out of lust”.
One day, when I was in college, I was having time with the Lord while reading the book “God and the Gay Christian” when I felt His presence thickly after reading this sentence: “If you take away the lust, you get this: two people who love each other. If God created people to love and God is love, then why is it wrong?” I started crying in my seat and I asked the Lord through my tears, “So, it’s okay?” And almost as clear as if He was physically sitting next to me said “Yes, my love. It is more than okay.” I was so excited and finally felt at peace! Ever since then I’ve let go of my beliefs and let God work. But, my realization doesn’t change me. I’m still Mel, the one who loves so deeply and serves the Lord with all she’s got and who always wants to remind you of your worth. But this is also me. The Mel whose attractions aren’t bigger than the Lord’s love.
Photo of Mel
