Lily
My name is Lily Tinker, and I am a Pansexual Paragirl Christian.
Growing up, I always had a feeling I was LGBTQ+. I was homeschooled up until high school, and through family, friends, and homeschooling communities, I have always been surrounded by the Christian community.
Pronouns: she/they
Photo credit: Lily archives
However, it wasn’t until 10th grade that I started questioning my sexuality and faith and what it meant to me. During COVID-19, I was participating in a local church’s acting program when my worldview was shattered. I was sitting with a missionary in her car, discussing her belief that homosexuality was a defiance of the Lord.
I had never talked about homosexuality with anyone so openly before, and hearing the words exit her mouth made something inside me want to scream. Throughout sophomore year, I began questioning: Could I be queer? And Christian? My entire life I had been convinced that God could not possibly accept LGBTQ+ individuals, and yet here I was, queer and Christian.
Now I know, if God is Love, then how is queer love any different? I am loved, valued, and a part of God’s community. In my senior year of high school, I got into my first relationship with an amazing and beautiful girl in my grade. We are no longer together, but she was patient with me during my first queer relationship and all the anxieties and fears I had at the time.
She will always hold a place in my heart as someone who witnessed God’s love in my life. Honestly, I know I was afraid growing up. And that fear took the form of homophobia. To this day, I feel guilty about who I was, and I aspire to be the person that I didn’t have growing up, witnessing God's acceptance and love for all people.
Photo credit: Lily archives
