Sol
In middle school, I learned that I liked women as well as men. Unfortunately for me, it was right around that time that my mother told me that being gay was a sin, and that the Bible said it was an abomination.
From that moment on, I began to suppress these attractions, thinking they would go away. What I didn’t realize at the time was that this was more than just a feeling - it was who I was. Before I knew it, I was crafting this whole other person who wasn’t me.
Pronouns: they/them
Photo of Sol and dog
My entire life became a performance, and for a while, I didn’t know which one was the real me: the person that followed the Bible to the letter and never questioned it, always went to church and on missions trips – or the person who had questions and doubts and felt out of place even in their own social circles.
Finally leaving the “Christian bubble” worked wonders for me. I met people from all faiths and walks of life. I listened to them and their experiences and began to be my own person. I felt most at home in LGBTQ spaces, especially when I made the decision to no longer suppress my attraction to women and came out as bisexual at 19. Introspection on my gender followed, and by 21, I became comfortable telling people I was non-binary.
Through my involvement on campus, I was able to make wonderful friends who have supported me on this journey in finding myself. However, even in what I thought was the most accepting place to be, there was one thing that was glaringly obvious: I was still too Christian.
I get it: lots of LGBTQ people have what I now know as religious trauma. A lot of us have been cast out by people who have claimed to represent Christ. However, hearing a lot of my peers openly mock Christ and those who believed in him was disheartening. I felt like I didn’t truly belong in either space. I knew one queer Christian in college, and even she and I didn’t talk all that much about the specifics. Needless to say, I felt pretty alone.
I stumbled upon progressive Christian TikTok by accident. The day I first heard the words “affirming Christian” from one of my favorite creators, I was overjoyed. The idea that you can be both LGBTQ AND a Christian? Unheard of! Or, perhaps not.
See, after the umpteenth time of my mother telling me I can’t be Christian and support the LGBTQ community, I took to TikTok to make a series on the “clobber passages” in an attempt to gather my thoughts for the next time my mom and I would discuss this.
What I found was amazing: so many resources, creators, and even some genuine friends that have helped me further study God’s word, not just read it.
My faith is stronger than it’s ever been, now that it’s placed in a God that I know accepts me, not in spite of my sexuality and gender identity. I know now that my God accepts me as I am because He made me this way.
Photo of Sol
