Nia
I’ve known God from a young age. And looking back, I now realize, God knew me. The real me.
Over time, family, friends, and religious systems told me what they thought I should know about God. That God was vengeful and wrathful. That God was waiting to send me to hell. And although it truly scared me, deep down I never believed it. That wasn’t the God I knew. No, the God I knew was Love. And Love drew me out.
Pronouns: she/her
Photo of Nia & wife
I was scared. I was scared that if people knew my secret they would abandon me. My religion told me I was an abomination. I can remember trying my whole life to make it go away, praying to God to take away my burden. Ignoring my feelings, pushing myself aside for the greater good.
Then in 7th grade I met my best friend and now wife. Over the course of the next 25 years, I learned what True Love is. I let that Love overwhelm me and sink into my soul. I started to understand that my secret wasn’t something to be ashamed of, but it was how I was created. It is who I am.
Eventually I couldn’t keep it a secret anymore. I had to shout it from the rooftops: I am a transgender woman! After living my life as a man for 35 years, I came out.
First to my wife. The one who had shown me Unconditional Love. All she said was, “I know.” She knew. Love knew. It hasn’t always been easy. I’ve lost family and friends. But I’ve gained my soul. I understand real Love.
During my darkest time, right before I came out, God spoke to me, and I want to give the same words to you:
“Let Love overwhelm you. Let my Love overwhelm you. Let who you are in me sink into your soul. You are presence. You are peace. You are Love. Let the Love you have inside spread to yourself. Let me whisper something to you. You are good and you are right. You are so good and you are so right.”
Love knows you. Love sees you. You are good and right. You are Loved.
My wife and I have 5 beautiful kids, and my hope for them is that they don’t have to wait 35 years to find out that they are good and they are right and they are Loved.
Photo of Nia
