Lance
My name is Lance. I grew up in a small Texan town with a predominately conservative and religious culture where homosexuality wasn’t really discussed outside of being condemned from the pulpit.
As a result, I didn’t really know what the word meant for quite some time, but things definitely changed when it all clicked. I was very concerned about being found out as “one of them,” and started repressing certain aspects of who I was and how I acted in order to fly under the radar.
Pronouns: he/him
Photo of Lance
Without any positive LGBTQ+ examples in my life, I truly believed that I was irredeemable and began that negative self-talk even before entering Junior High.
I ultimately left the church and set my faith aside in my early twenties for many years. I had already internalized that while I was going to church and masquerading as a Christian, the ‘Good News’ was not for people like me, and after starting to question other aspects of my conservative worldview outside of being LGBTQ+, I mustered up the courage to completely leave the world I knew.
I really didn’t have intentions of joining a church ever again, but a close friend invited me to a small affirming church in Austin called St. Luke (I explore this in an essay titled ‘Why I Believe in Miracles’ on bravenewlove.com if you are interested in hearing more about it).
Fundamentally changing your worldview and belief system is not an easy endeavor, but it changed my life in so many ways. During those years away from the church I met, befriended, and learned from people who had all types of different backgrounds than my own. I discussed theology with atheists and agnostics, politics with people of color, and sexuality with people who weren’t taught to be ashamed of their bodies.
I came to believe that faith is a recognition that we are all connected to each other somehow by a power that is greater than us and that our connection to that power is fully realized through building up and serving ourselves and others in the world around us.
I have started to think of my experience of growing up gay in fundamental Christian and conservative culture to be like walking on broken glass. That experience has clued me into the pain of those who are marginalized by the church and our culture. I feel strongly that it is our calling to help remove that glass from their path and bring everyone to the metaphorical table of life without any prerequisites.
To all LGBTQ youth out there, I offer this advice: No matter where you are at right now in your process of self discovery, you are exactly where you need to be. Don’t feel like you need to cave to pressure to feel, act or believe a certain way because that pressure is from society and not from your maker.
If you are feeling oppressed or unsupported, reach out for help because there is an entire community of humans who accept you just as you are like it was intended. Try to live authentically as much as you can so that you can receive validation for your true self, but know that it is a constant work in progress for everyone so show grace towards yourself when needed.
Always ask questions and speak what is on your mind (in a respectful and loving way) about faith and your experience in this world. I believe that God is not only unafraid of big questions, but encourages them.
Photo of Lance
