Arianna
My name is Arianna Fittz and I am a Christian lesbian.
I grew up as a missionary kid in Honduras and Guatemala. My parents, and those around me, always taught me about Adam and Eve and how they were the perfect depiction of love. I never felt like I fit in, and I was never attracted to any of the cute boys around me.
Pronouns: she/her
Photo credit: Arianna archives
After ten years of living in Honduras, my family moved to Dallas, TX where I started school and forced myself to believe I could date. After many years of struggling with trying to find a boyfriend, I finally gave up. At that time I also started being severely bullied by a few of my classmates which began a long train of depression and suicidal thoughts. But I hid it away from everyone that cared. Four years later, I moved back to Honduras for a month while COVID blocked the borders of Guatemala, our hopeful destination. I confessed to my mom the severe mental struggle I was experiencing and was placed in a mental facility in Houston TX. There, I was diagnosed and then let out. We finally arrived in Guatemala, and that's when I realized who I was really attracted to. I was alone in bed when I finally came to the realization I was attracted to girls.
As I said, my parents were very conservative. I met with my therapist and she brought my parents in to explain my coming out. They said nothing. And to this day they still try to hide it from anyone interested in my sexuality. The depression came back, this time along with an eating disorder, and I was placed back into the mental facility where I met a lot of people like me. I finally felt like I found a community. Of course, as soon as I felt like I fit in I had to leave, and I returned to Guatemala only to find out our family was now moving to Austin, TX.
I have lived in Austin for two months and was hired as the head barista at a coffee shop. My mental health is much better but my goal now is to find an inclusive Christian community again.
Photo credit: Arianna archives
