Ameera
My name is Ameera Khan, and I am a queer-ass Muslim and Hafiza of the Quran. On the rainbow, I identify as bisexual, genderfluid, and a Trans woman.
In other places of my life, I identify as a brown child of immigrants, a Sufi-inspired Muslim, a lifelong Midwesterner, a new Minnesotan, a tech nerd, and an astrology bitch who has everyone's chart memorized.
Pronouns: she/he
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I grew up in a conservative Masjid community in St. Louis; I will not call them mainstream since the majority of Muslims in America believe gay people should be accepted. My Muslim community took care of me as they were my spirituality, my network, and my sense of belonging. I poured myself into becoming a representative for them, and in doing so, I memorized the Quran and gained the title of Hafiza. I also volunteered at MSA, Interfaith, and Masjid events to take care of my people's needs.
When I realized I was gay, and later transgender, I was devastated. I knew my people would reject me, and with that, I would be cut off from all I had ever known, including God herself. I prayed late into the night, crying and wrestling with God asking why They made me gay if He didn't want me to truly be this way. I fell into a deep depression, and the only thing that pulled me out of it was a Muslim friend who accepted me and comforted me in my moments of despair. Thanks to that friend, I survived.
Eventually, I came out of the closet and was connected with other LGBTQ Muslim communities online. For so many years, I thought I was the only one, but here I am proven wrong! They helped me correct my theology and find myself. And when I found myself, God was there waiting.
Today I am stable. I have joy, I have sadness, I have hope, and I have freedom. I cultivate gratitude for the life and the community that I have, the wife and the house I have earned, and the divine grace that allowed me to come out of a pandemic better than I entered it. My community has changed, but it has also, in many ways, stayed the same. While I now have to accept and love people in my life and have cut off my haters, I still have the drive to be there for my community and support them.
I pray that I never lose this gratitude and always give back.
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