Rachel
My name is Rachel, and I identify as a biromantic asexual Catholic.
I attended church, grade school, and youth group, all within the same parish. When I realized I was queer at sixteen, prayer became my solace, yet the world I knew suddenly became unrecognizable.
Pronouns: she/her
Photo credit: Rachel archives
Priests turned into sources of fear, and terms like “complementarity” and “intrinsically disordered” etched themselves in my mind. Being part of a parish heavily focused on family dynamics—defining its appearance and who could form one—I confided in one of the priests. I was informed that a valid marriage must be consummated and open to biological children.
My queerness already made me feel marginalized, but this revelation stung deeper due to my asexuality. The same church that taught me sex was shameful, now shamed me for not desiring it. Surrounded by seemingly “normal” families and subjected to heteronormative homilies, my unwillingness to conform to a “normal” family structure left me bitter, hopeless, and unable to concentrate.
The youth group offered a more welcoming space where I could openly express my queerness, finding incredible friends and mentors, but still, I didn’t feel completely integrated into the community. Unsure of what to do, I remained, and my faith suffered. Years of allowing fear and hostility to govern my faith led me to a turning point.
I began attending a new parish, discovered through New Ways Ministry. There, I rediscovered a peace I hadn’t felt in years, allowing me to re-establish my connection with God and nurture my faith. Finding a faith community where I could authentically be myself lifted a weight from my chest, enabling me to experience God with renewed faith and vigor.
Photo credit: Rachel archives
