Maddy
My name is Maddy and I’m a Gay Christian. While I grew up in evangelical and pentecostal settings as I went to church with my mum, I didn’t make the decision to become a Christian until I was 18.
Being surrounded by heteronormativity all my life didn’t create an opportunity for me to explore myself and my own orientation. Until the breakdown of a relationship with a guy, in which I felt pressured to marry young, left me questioning. It didn’t take me long to realize I wasn’t ‘straight’. After the shock of knowing I didn’t fit the pattern of the heterosexual lifestyle, shame crept in. For I understood well the Church’s stance against the LGBTQIA+ community.
Pronouns: she/her
Photo of Maddy
I ended up becoming very depressed while still serving at another church, attempting to keep my gayness a secret. I was afraid of what they might say or do to me. One night I even begged God to make me straight and that I cannot go on living like this. I said you either have to make me straight or to just take my life, and I expected not to wake up the next morning.
I woke up the next morning, nothing had changed. But I felt a nudge in my soul which said “you need to be true to yourself.” Shortly afterwards, the true battle began when I decided to come out. I was mostly accepted by my church community and my family, and I can say overall it was a positive experience. But there were still times when theologies clashed.
So, I looked for resources and found Beloved Arise among many others and now I do my best to be another queer voice to help the Church change its damaging out-of-context views.
Photo of Maddy
